November

     I want to document everything, but I see that I didn't put this down. My camera says November 15, 2022. 

I was upstairs for some reason, idk why now. I saw a kit in the closet for cleaning guns and asked him what that was about. He said that he'd gotten a pistol. He had traded some tires for it. I told him that I didn't want a gun in my house, I didn't trust him with it. I wanted to personally get the thing out of my house so I knew for sure it was gone.  

    He kept arguing with me saying he needed/wanted it for protection. (Wtf does he need protection from?) He then said he would get rid of it, he wanted to at least get some money for it. I don't give a damn if he makes money off it! I want this abusive narcissist to not have a gun to threaten me with and I want the peace of mind of knowing it's gone or destroyed. 

    He didn't like that.  I was yelling saying that HE is the type of person that shouldn't be allowed to have access to guns, because he is. He didn't like that I was yelling and making sense and being truthful about who and how is is. He then made fun of me for my recto-vaginal fistula. Called me gross. As if my genitals are who I am. Then he closed himself in the bathroom because he knew that was fucked up and I would be pissed. 

    I tried so hard to break the door open. I even picked up a small but thick vase and tried to break in. I wanted to hurt him so much that he begged me to stop. Like he's done to me so often.  

   He opened the door and started being angry at me for hurting the door. As if I should've been being calm and cool. I kept on about the gun and he'd had enough.  He body slammed me, sat on my chest and pressed down with all his strength. He has his hand over my nose and throat and was trying his hardest to make me not be able to breathe.  I don't remember much after that. I may have blacked out. I'm sure he just went upstairs like nothing happened. At some point I took these pictures, but they were early on and my foot especially for way more bruised.